Wednesday, March 18, 2009

shortpants


I hate when people dress as if the two halves of their body are going to completely different climates. Today I saw a woman wearing teeny tiny shorts (Not obscene butt-cheek showing pants, but almost). She was wearing cowboy boots with white knee socks,and..... a winter coat and scarf. WTF? I mean really. She looked crazy. We Live in SAN FRANCISCO and it is always CHILLY here. Even today, which was sunny and more of a light jacket day than a winter coat day, was not a teeny tiny shorts day. I would be a lot less judgmental about the entire outfit if she had committed to the costume and worn a little tank top and flip flops. Then I would have wondered how she wasn't cold, and maybe chalked it up to natural body temp or something. But the winter coat and scarf were a dead giveaway that she was freezing. and a whore.


I have included a image I photo shopped of the bikini girl from American Idol wearing ski pants (to show the reverse outfit) as well as a picture I drew of the girl I saw today. I did not have my camera with me. But, as you can see, I did have some free time today.

8 comments:

Lisa said...

not only did this make me chuckle, like all of your posts, but I so totally agree. It drives me crazy!!! How can it be that your knees and upper thighs are on fire but the rest of you is freezing?! It is the same reason I don't get the sleeveless turtleneck (even when sold as part of a sweater set- what, you're never going to get warm enough to toss off that cardigan??)

craftyk said...

yes. totally crazy. I would almost prefer a mini skirt, which is blatant in its whore quality. there is something unpure about short shorts. It's as if they are masquerading as utilitarian, which they are not. It makes me feel unclean.
BTW, spellchecker does not recognize "whore" or "unpure". hmm.

Mr. Green said...

Now you've all gone and done it. Damn you. I was perfectly content checking the blog, chuckling, agreeing, whatnot. But now? Now I'm just disgusted.

Rather than pick apart each of the obvious, embarrassing and downright shameful things each of you said, I will instead choose a more honorable approach:

1. WTF?! Tiny shorts are BAD? I don't care if she was wearing a freshly clubbed baby seal around her neck, tiny shorts are a thing to be applauded! There is one thing you can be absolutely certain of: that "whore" (you bastards) made someone happy. SOMEONE was happy that she was in that outfit. And really, aren't we all just out for a little happiness now and again? Judgemental bastards.

2. Mini skirts are blatant in their "whore quality"???? There are few things I treasure as much the beautiful simplicity of a mini skirt. Where the hell are you people from??? Pakistan?! Mini skirts bring joy to countless millions of people every single day. And for that they are criticized for their "whore quality"? Judgemental BASTARDS!

3. Jesus! I mean seriously! What in the hell? Would you seriously prefer women wear pant-suits?

I hate you.

Sincerely,
-Ed

mosse said...

(Mr. Green was from the GSAT day... Great, now I just look dumb.)

Isaac said...

Alright... I was going to stay out of this... and actually, now that I think about it. I will. I'll stay out of this (kind of), and remember ladies... it wasn't me who posted that last comment (thanks Ed)... it was a gentleman. A gentleman who does not represent me (though I don't disagree) and I would never condone someone wearing a mini skirt (unless they should be).

craftyk said...

You're all wrong.
This is my blog, I've hijacked it from Isaac.
sometimes miniskirts are cute. sometimes short shorts are cute.
but this chick looked crazy.
whooooooore (said with a low hiss)

craftyk said...

also, Ed, why are you using a fake identity for your GSAT?

mosse said...

Clever. Back off your inflammatory statements JUST enough to make me look like I've over-reacted and abused my caps-lock key.

Real nice.

Especially given that I had thought of all kinds of not-quite-parallel-but-close-enough-to-make-me-sound-witty comparisons.

Great.

So much for mustaches indicating a desire to take over Europe.

So much for baldness predicting peaceful tendencies.

Now what?

Fine. I'll find some other outlet for my faux rage.

-Ed

(Mr. Green was the pseudonym I was using when communicating with Jay -- I started putting together a mini-blog of the day's activities and forgot to change it back.)